Well... I stumbled upon this community by sheer chance, and I have to say that it was the greatest thing that's ever happened.
My friend (QueenAlysanne)who shall be posting shortly & I have set out to become the most frequent posters. Until now, we've just been finding badfic and talking to eachother about it. But now, an outlet for our frustrations.
The WORST fic ever... My Immortal
Fandom: Harry (Vampire) Potter
Summary: Well basically a gothic gurl falls in love with Draco but then it turns out that he is in love with Harry, and the girl is in love with Harry too. What will happen? Slash. M 4 sex and swearing and suicidal thoughts. NO preps. Plz r&r Rating changed to M!
(We've started off on a grammatically BAD note.)Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way ("Dark'ness"?! And also "Holy ridiculous amount of names, Batman!") and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) (Born with long black, hair, eh? Sadly, this is one of the MOST plausible things that occur in this 40 chaper tumor on the fancfiction community.) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears (She owns a thesaurus evidently.) and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. (And we all want to be RELATED to sexy folk, yes?) I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell)
My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!)
(Yes... write your friends into the story. Then tell us about it. Wow.)
My favorite author's note ever:
AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony’s name is ENOBY (It's what now?) nut mary su OK!
(Translation- "Author's Note: I said stop flaming the story, okay? Ebony's name is EBONY, not Mary Sue, okay?" *Giggles*)
Possibly the GREATEST bad sex-scene in the history of all badfic.
Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.
(*Blinkblink* *Stares blankly* *cries*)
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”
(The author explains in the next chapter "Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok" Okay, Mary Sue, okay. Also, please not the gratuitous ellipses for dramatic pause, I guess. Get used to that.)
Just a few more gems, then the rest is up to you.
“My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.
(Three words: "Jesus.... fucking.... Christ." -_-)
"I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!"
(That's it, I'm committing suicide.) I'm going to critique myself here... I am a Red vs. Blue geek/dweeb/nerd to the 9th degree. I apologize in advance for any further quoting I will undoubtedly do.
“Draco are u okay?” I asked in a gothic voice.
(Pray tell... What does that sound like?)
“OK class fucking dismissed every1.” Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go.
(Did she have a headache too, Mary?)
He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork.
I can't look at this any more. I think my head is about to explode