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Badfic Quotes!
You just can't stop a train.
July 24th, 2015 
Martian
Rule 34 is an endless source of hilarity even if one doesn't find its mere existence hilarious; the example I'm giving here would be laughable in any context. I don't think it's accessible to non-Furaffinity users because it's adult-rated but here's a link anyway.

The part I'm laughing at involved Martin the Warrior thinking he'd been betrayed by Lady Amber. In what is supposed to be a serious rage, he confronts her; when she starts to explain herself, he says "That's utter cow-skite! You've ruined me!" Two sentences later, when he's supposed to be slightly less angry, he says "What the fuck are you talking about?" The mental image of Martin casually saying "fuck" at the best of times is refusing to form, but the contrast with the minced oath which I also can't imagine him using is killing me.

The same fic includes written-out all-caps moaning sounds; various other baby-swears such as an adult character using the word "poo" when not speaking to a child; and this is really just a nitpick but I'm not sure one can use the same terms for gay people in a universe where neither Sodom nor Lesbos ever existed, though canon still refers to plants like "pennyroyal" when they don't use currency so yeah.
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